Lessons in Falling Backward and Being Broken - None Righteous; No Not One!

Yes Folks, I too have often been appalled at the cruelty of mankind. The true nature of humanity proves itself quite cruel on a plethora of layers. My life experience has taught me that Original Sin is not a myth that’s been made up. We all are bitten. Even the best of people hiding behind a smoke screen of “goodness” are not exempt.

I am not exempt. Church people are often no different from anyone else in the mainstream of life. Human nature is the same everywhere. The New Testament says we will know true Believers by how they genuinely live out the teachings of the faith. We have come to know “unbelievers” who would appear to have a better handle on “living the faith” than some church folks.

Ultimately, I’ve learned the hard way how to keep an eye out for goats amongst the sheep. I was naïve and undiscerning, and God has since opened my eyes. I ask Him continually not to let me sprout cynicism or negativity against the Church Body as a whole. We are all sinners and we all fall short even of our own ideals 99% of the time. Practicing forgiveness is paramount to proving genuine faith. This is where I run into my own stubborn roadblocks of sin nature & character flaws

To be certain, the disabled & awkward get more than their share of suffering by the hands & mouths of the world's cruelty. Some would say we should rid the world of the disabled so as to eliminate their plight of such "suffering." To be certain it's not the disabled and infirm who bog down humanity with suffering. I know first hand how their special character & personalities far exceed what they don’t achieve in physical prowess.

Verily, verily, it’s the others in the world that we will always have to keep an eye open for in terms of they who add to suffering. Yep, they who are “normal” people that walk through life arrogantly thinking that they’re “better” or more worthy of human dignity simply by virtue of their looks or social standing--they are the ones who add to the world's suffering.

No, we will not be able to shelter our unique or special needs child from all the wounds he or she will suffer from the DHAC, but our motherly love will serve as a shield & salve. Our love will teach them to overcome this world and be a better people for their hardships.

I did not have the salve of such parental love until I came to know the Father and His Book. It’s by His presence in my life that I have come to know my value & preciousness (I've also come to know the depths of my sin nature as well).

I’m a work in progress as I dig out from under a great deal of life’s rubble. To be certain I have to also examine my own character flaws and work on my own sin nature as I seek to overcome all that’s been “inflicted” upon me. I often think it’s far too much for one bitty soul such as mine to handle.

It’s then that I'm so very thankful to God and His Son for the infinite gift of His Loving Grace--that the Living God has done so very much on our behalf... My heart may ache until the day I die, but my soul increasingly rejoices as it comes to a deeper comprehension that only broken and on my knees am I ever truly made whole.

Lessons in Falling Backward and Being Broken - Romans 3:9-19

Romans 3:9-19

All People Are Sinners
Well then, are we Jews better than others? No, not at all, for we have already shown that all people, whether Jews or Gentiles, are under the power of sin. As the Scriptures say,

"No one is good — not even one. No one has real understanding;no one is seeking God. All have turned away from God;all have gone wrong. No one does good,not even one."

"Their talk is foul, like the stench from an open grave. Their speech is
filled with lies."

"The poison of a deadly snake drips from their lips."

"Their mouths are full of cursing and bitterness."

"They are quick to commit murder. Wherever they go, destruction and misery follow them. They do not know what true peace is."

"They have no fear of God to restrain them."

Obviously, the law applies to those to whom it was given, for its purpose is to keep people from having excuses and to bring the entire world into judgment before God. For no one can ever be made right in God's sight by doing what his law commands. For the more we know God's law, the clearer it becomes that we aren't obeying it. NLT

Where to begin? Everything bites so badly that I almost dare not speak it outloud lest it get worse. Suffice it to say that I’m tired, hurting, and tragically depressed. I dragged my butt to my Bible study today in spite of every single nerve ending telling me to bail. I wish I’d listened to those anguished signals.

One of my old group leaders came up to me afterward to give her condolences over Anne; she’d “just heard” and wanted to express her sympathy.

I looked at her with a cockeyed look that said, “and how on earth did you just hear, cuz I didn’t tell anyone at my Bible study that I was even pg, let alone that the baby had died.”

She realized by my look that she needed to explain how she’d “just heard,” and so she hummed, hawed, and tried to get her gossip straight.

I was so hurt when she finally told me who it was that had told her. I wasn’t hurt that the information was told, but rather it was the person who did the telling that broke my heart. I love how this woman could find it in herself to talk about me to mutual acquaintences, but she’s not actually spoken TO ME since Abigail died. She was one of my "best" friends and yet she stopped answering my calls, my emails, and my cards. I sent her a pkg for her birthday; I never heard a word. All I know is that we had gone out to dinner the week after Abigail’s funeral, and I’ve not gotten her to speak to me since.

Of course, this poor gal who approached me today had no idea that I’ve spent the better part of three years asking myself what I did or said to make this other gal shun me and drop our friendship like a scalding hot potato. I accepted her condolences & caring, and we chit chatted a bit about where Anne was buried (since she had been to her nephew's funeral there the months shortly after Abigail was interred). It just hurt me so badly to hear my "friends" name mentioned in the gossiped context of my dead child.

Of course over the last three years I’ve often wondered what I did or said to a whole phethora of "friends" who completely vanished from my life once death hit my fan. It’s no small understatement when I exclaim that I’ve learned the total hard way what it means to have “fair weather friends.” In fact, I've learned the very hard way just how heavy a relationship can be when it's one-sided and you're left carrying it by yourself. The relationship ends up getting dropped cuz you just can't carry it anymore (and then if that wasn't rich enough, then you get the blame for doing the dropping).

Yes, the storms of my life have been drastic, to say the least. To be certain, my life has been rough. But these experiences in baby death have stripped the last of life’s veneer clean away and left only the raw, fragile underbelly.

I’ve never been any good at friendships; I don’t typically fit in with the classic mall crowd--it comes from being too fat, too poor, too awkward, too forthright, too eeeww. Over the course of my growing up years, I had multiple versions of “Barbie” & “Ken” do their best to be quite mean to me over the years. Walking down the halls of my high school, I had things thrown at me, spit at me and yelled at me. I got sneered at, mocked and ridiculed.

Needless to say, it’s hard to tell whether I have bigger scars from the objects that got thrown at me or from insults that got hurled. One asshole football jock threw his carton chocolate milk at me once as I sat in the patio looking at my new yearbook. It exploded all over me, and I was drenched in sticky milk for the rest of the day. My brand new yearbook was ruined. He and his letter-jacketed friends had a grand hurrah over my humiliation. The memory of their guffaws and high fives will never be erased from my memory. I struggle to forgive them as the tenets of my faith require. They hurt me badly for no other reason than they could; for no other reason than because I was fat and awkward--someone to make sport of.

I suppose that’s better than recommending me for termination, except I did in fact have a guy once take his BB gun out and shoot me in the butt--simply because he was repulsed by my fat ass and it needed to be used as target practice. I won’t even elaborate on all the food and rocks that I’ve had hit my person over the years. I didn't own my first car until I hooked up with Brian at 23--waiting at bus stops will yield a plethora of things thrown & yelled.

But I’ve worked hard to overcome the depths of such rejection and shame. I’ve always tried to be very generous. I’ve always tried to be edifying uplifting. The Bible says to esteem others above myself, and I’ve certainly tried to do that to make up for the fact that I bring very little to most of my relationships. By “little” I mean that I don’t bring money or fame or privilege. I bring the embarrassment of obesity, hirsuitism, poverty, and disabled awkwardness. I knew a gal once at church who wouldn’t accept a ride from me because my car was too old and grungy. It was a toss up as to which of us was more embarrassed. I, of course, was embarrassed by my ugly car. She was embarrassed by how plainly her snobbery came out and what a difficult time she had wiping the stuck-up egg off her face. I’d rather drive a clunky POS than be that sort of person. I guess my perspective on snobbery is yet that’s another thing that keeps me from fitting in.

A few years ago, I tried to do a “girls’ night out” with a church that we’ve since left. It was horrible. I figured it was just me & my pathetic outlook, so I did my best to hang in there and try to stay involved. Nevertheless, it soon became drastically clear that I just didn’t fit in with the classic middle class female. We looked around and found a different church a little less bling oriented.

To my dismay, the folks at the new church asked me to facilitate one of the women’s groups for the large women’s ministry. Somebody, somewhere had recommended me even though leadership didn't know me from Adam. I was so honored. Gals like me don’t get asked to do such projects cuz it’s too visual and in the limelight. The leadership told me they were skeptical as to whether I could pull it off being as heavy and "different" as I am.

But I assured them that I'd do my best, and for three years I gave them everything & more, just so I could prove to them that it’s not just the Barbie girls that can do such a job. I doted on my groups like none of the other leaders, and soon had people clamoring each semester to be in my group. To be certain, it boosted my ego & self worth, and I loved on them as best as I could with cards, trinkets, bookmarks, embroidered hankies, special prayer plaqards--lots of doting things to carry them through their semester and weekly homework.

But then I lost Abigail and lost all of them too. Not a single meal; only a handful of cards; lots of whispers and gossip. Sadly, we came to learn that even this church was very steeped in its bling.

So relationships---what are they? What’s it like to have a regular girlfriend? Or a sleepover? I don’t know; I’ve never been a “regular” girl with regular friends. The friends I thought I had at the height of my friendship “career” were really only in it for what presents I gave. Once my life crumbled and I wasn’t there to do the cards, trinkets and edifying then they moved on to new groups and new lives. I never saw myself as “buying” their affections, but in the end that’s what my leadership doting proved to be. When it came to rubber meeting the road, none of those “friends” were there for me as I grieved my most horrific loss; only a handful were there as we laid Abigail to rest, and they fell off the pages as soon as they drove away. I remember vividly the evening of Abigail's funeral--the three of us sitting home alone looking blankly at the TV; none of us watching it; each of us wondering why we had been so abandoned. We bought her casket piece, my estranged sister brought a bouquet, and one of the home school moms brought the Christmas cactus that’s fixin’ to bloom again for Abigail’s birthday. No one else brought flowers. No one offered meals. Many of them even cut me off their regular Christmas card list. It was all so very very weird. It seemed to go right along with all my other experiences--like the guy who threw his milk all over me or the creep who shot me with his BB gun.

Add in the abandoment of my father and the crap from my mother & sisters and you can be certain that I’ve learned to keep people at arms distance.

So my million dollar question is, how do you move forward with new relationships with an overwhelming history of such gruesome betrayal & abandonment clogging up the future? Such emotional baggage is not easily resolved. I’ve done a lot of work in previous years with various counselors & mental health workers to overcome & unpack such baggage. I know the answer lays in forgiveness. Jesus Himself illustrates this principle in how He forgave all His own friends who betrayed & abandoned Him.

I guess it’s just that I’d accomplished a lot of spiritual & emotional overcoming in years prior to losing Abigail. I had learned to do a lot with my life in spite of my handicaps, limitations, and awkwardness for fitting in. Then Abigail died and my failing her to death touched at the deepest core of every self-esteem issue I’ve had my entire life. Even though I’d done a great deal of work toward prevailing against self-loathing, Abigail’s death dredged a lot of it back up simply because there was a whole other group of people (church people) who came along and kicked me to the friendship curb much the same as the kid with the chocolate milk.

Today’s little encounter at Bible study brought back floods of that abandoned betrayal.

Lessons in Falling Backward and Being Broken - Romans 2

Romans 2:1-16~~New Living Translation

You may be saying, "What terrible people you have been talking about!" But you are just as bad, and you have no excuse! When you say they are wicked and should be punished, you are condemning yourself, for you do these very same things. 2 And we know that God, in his justice, will punish anyone who does such things. 3 Do you think that God will judge and condemn others for doing them and not judge you when you do them, too? 4 Don't you realize how kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Or don't you care? Can't you see how kind he has been in giving you time to turn from your sin?

5 But no, you won't listen. So you are storing up terrible punishment for yourself because of your stubbornness in refusing to turn from your sin. For there is going to come a day of judgment when God, the just judge of all the world, 6 will judge all people according to what they have done. 7 He will give eternal life to those who persist in doing what is good, seeking after the glory and honor and immortality that God offers. 8 But he will pour out his anger and wrath on those who live for themselves, who refuse to obey the truth and practice evil deeds. 9 There will be trouble and calamity for everyone who keeps on sinning — for the Jew first and also for the Gentile. 10 But there will be glory and honor and peace from God for all who do good — for the Jew first and also for the Gentile. 11 For God does not show favoritism. 12 God will punish the Gentiles when they sin, even though they never had God's written law. And he will punish the Jews when they sin, for they do have the law. 13 For it is not merely knowing the law that brings God's approval. Those who obey the law will be declared right in God's sight. 14 Even when Gentiles, who do not have God's written law, instinctively follow what the law says, they show that in their hearts they know right from wrong. 15 They demonstrate that God's law is written within them, for their own consciences either accuse them or tell them they are doing what is right. 16 The day will surely come when God, by Jesus Christ, will judge everyone's secret life. This is my message. NLT

This is the passage we studied this past week in Romans. Of course the condemnation is future-tense, and based ultimately on that fact that none of us has any ability to do righteous works apart from God, and thereby we all need a Savior to rescue us from the impending doom that we’ve gotten ourselves into. It’s the propitiation principle, and none of us can escape its reality. Paul in both chapters 1 & 2 of Romans is speaking to an audience that has been “saved,” but in these chapters, he’s illustrating the natural worldview of the unregenerate heathen who have not accepted The Way as Truth, and have thereby NOT avoided the eternal condemnation that Paul illustrates here as inevitable for all mankind.

I’m a saved, born again, believer in the propitiation of Christ, so there is no condemnation for me, as Paul illustrates in later chapters. My “good works” will be judged based on His Works of righteousness working through me, rather than my own unregenerate works operating independently of Him. Whew! Praise God for that!

But the BSF commentary to follow the Romans Two lesson has me very disturbed. I suppose in many ways it’s part of the shame spiral that comes with trying to overcome the sting of death. When baby death has ripped through your life, the grief you’re left with often plagues you with a sense of overwhelming guilt, shame, and self loathing---a sense of remorse that somehow it’s my fault and I deserved it. Of course, the Romans passage doesn’t help with that sense of “deserving” and condemnation.

To be certain, the language used in Romans is harsh enough, but the BSF commentary that follows only added to that sense of shame I often feel. Yes, I feel much shame and degradation that somehow I’ve brought this judgment upon myself. That I’ve merely received just desserts for a life riddled with disobedience and faithlessness.

Sure, I’m born again now. But what about the sinful years that that led up to this point? There is much wickedness in my previously held unregenerate life. I was the same heathen who Paul speaks to in this passage (evolutionist, feminist, worshiping self and the created thing, rather than the Creator Himself). I'm not that way now, but at one point in my life the shoe certainly fit very well. God has every reason to pour His wrath upon me simply because of my previously held humanistic ideologies of godlessness.

Yes, the wrath of God is often a hard pill to swallow, and yet who are we as His chosen to think that we would not be privileged to see a shadow of that intimate side of Him? No, I will not receive His ETERNAL wrath, but perhaps the shadow of wrath, the mere glimpse, I’ve known these last couple of years is truly something I deserved??? Something to use to warn people of their impending doom if they should fail to recognize the true glory of the Living God.

Maybe if I type it all out, I can make better sense of it for myself. Life was so much simpler when I went through Romans verse-by-verse, chapter by chapter the last time. My entire world has turned upside down since then. I’ve had what would appear to be the judgmental hand of God slapped across my face since then.

Since then my family has come apart at the seams. It’s no small coincidence that my sister declared me “delivered unto Satan for the destruction of the flesh” and two years later my first daughter died. Her marked resentment continued in spite of Abigail's death, and she continued to withhold restoration from me. I then went on to have a second child die--also no small coincidence in light of the Scripture she used to condemn me.

No, only after my second child died did she finally pronounce the Numbers 6 blessing of restoration upon my life & home. How to make peace with satan's destruction of the very real flesh, has been something I’ve been asking the Lord to do for me for many many months. The only answer I've received has been by way of deteriorated health. Not quite the message I was hoping for. One thing’s for certain, I cannot make peace with all that's happened all by myself. The whole notion makes me weep & sob.

Here’s what the BSF commentary notes had to say:

THE NATURE OF GOD’S JUDGMENT: ROMANS 2:5-16
We now come a second time to the idea of the wrath of God. Here, unlike Romans 1, it has to do with God’s FINAL judgment. The first time Paul spoke about God’s wrath he said that “the wrath of God IS BEING REVEALED, that is, right now in God’s abandonment of the human race to its sin (1:18). The wrath of God is not something merely saved up until some long-delayed but final day of judgment. That is not to suggest that there is not a final day of judgment too; there is. For God’s wrath is also being stored up against the day “when His righteous judgment WILL BE REVEALED” (2:5). In these paragraphs Paul explains the principles that will guide God’s judgment on that final day.

A. According to Truth – Roman 2:2
The judgment of God will be according to truth. Paul has already mentioned this principle in the first paragraph of this chapter. This must be understood against the background of our attempts to make excuses: “I did not know there was a God,” “I was not sure,” “No one ever taught me to be good,” “I did not do those bad things the others did.” God’s judgment will cut through those excuses, and the truth about our stubborn unbelief will emerge. The last verse of this section says that God will even judge our “secrets” (v16). It is a terrifying thought. If we are to be judged by the truth, clearly no one “will escape God’s judgment” (v3).

B. Deserved – Romans 2:5
Paul’s second principle is that the judgment of God will be richly deserved, for the simple reason that we are bringing it on ourselves. We are “storing up wrath against {ourselves}” (v5). We have already seen one reason why God’s judgment is deserved. God has revealed Himself in nature. This alone should lead every man, woman, and child to seek God. However, we do not. Instead, we suppress the truth of God’s self-revelation. This suppression of truth is proof that we do not actually want God. This reiterates what was said in chapter 1.

The case is even stronger than this, which is what Paul is chiefly teaching in chapter 2. God’s judgment will also be deserved because of our stubborn refusal to repent. The word “unrepentant” (v5) takes us back to verse 4. In that verse Paul has spoken of two paths open to human beings as a result of God’s kindness, tolerance, and patience. One is contempt for God’s blessings. The other is repentance. Paul argues that the kindness, tolerance, and patience of God lead to repentance. But do we repent? The answer is in verse 5 where Paul speaks of our “stubborn” and “unrepentant” hearts. Apparently, we do not let the kindness, tolerance, and patience of God lead us to repent. On the contrary, those who have already suppressed the truth about God in nature now add to their evil by hardening their hearts against the kindness God has shown them.

C. Proportionate to Actual Sins – Romans 2:5
The most important teaching in this verse is that the wrath of God is proportionate to human sin in the sense that those who sin much will be punished much and those who sin less will be punished less. It is taught in the phrase “storing up wrath” against the judgment.

This suggests the image of a miser who has been storing up wealth which, contrary to his expectations, will destroy him. He has been saving a great horde of gold coins, placing them in an attic above his bed where he thinks no one will find them and where they will be safe. He keeps this up for years, amassing a great weight of gold. But one night, while he is sleeping, this great horde of gold breaks through the ceiling of his bedroom, comes crashing down onto his bed, and kills him.

That is the way it is for those who pile sin upon sin and show contempt for God’s kindness. They think of their sins as building up a life of present and future happiness and freedom. But each sin, no matter how small, insignificant, or hidden we may think it to be, is actually a storing up of wrath. Each neglect of others, each angry word, each selfish thought, each meant retort, each harmful act is a piling up of wrath’s “treasures.” Seeking pleasure while neglecting God builds wrath. Each moment of indifference to the great mercy and kindness of God is accumulating wrath. If life has been beneficial to you , you only increase your guilt and build a storehouse of future punishment by ignoring God.

D. According to Our Deed – Romans 6:16
A fourth principle of God’s judgment is that it will be based on what we have actually done and not on what we intended to do or might have done (so we suppose) if life had been different. This principle is unfolded in verses 6-11, and it is further developed in verses 12-15. These verses speak of two very different paths. One is the path of good deeds, the end of which is glory, honor, peace, and eternal life. The other is the path of evil, the end of which is trouble, distress, wrath, and anger. They teach that a person is on either one path or the other. Copyright Bible Study Fellowship 1998, 2005, lesson 4, pgs 3 &4.

So if I’m on the “right” path and still encounter situations whereby it would seem that God is much displeased with me, what to do next? How do we reconcile really "judgement" sort of things happening to “saved” people. When God’s wrath is poured out upon the heathen, somehow we can point fingers and say they "deserved" it. But what about when God pours that same wrath upon they who stand behind the Shield of Christ; the Rock of the Messiah?

If I “deserved” this as a “saved” person then just imagine what sort of wrath I would deserve as an unsaved person! Such wrath cannot even be poured out here in this earthly dimension—nothing is harsh enough or renders justice appropriately enough. That’s a scary thought!

I don’t know the answers. I know that I’m saved from God’s really serious wrath by the Blood of the Lamb. But in the midst of my shame and grief, I can’t help but think that God has found much disfavor in me; that I am completely undeserving of the special gifts He bestows when He gives babies to families. I can’t help but feel that He has wanted me to suffer the deaths of my children in order to realize how very small I am in His presence, and yet how hugely wicked I really am. I've known this reality for many years, but NEVER to this depth before. I've often wondered if perhaps I'm not one of His special chosen, but to cause the babies to die is inconsistent with the rest of His Word and how He Himself values children.

One thing's for certain, I’ve need a God sized hug ever since Abigail died. I’ve turned to the Scriptures for that hug; He is my Comforter, right? But all He’s really done as I’ve searched His Word has been to isolate me further and pour additional wrath upon me by causing another baby to die. The double death cannot be ignored in light of the way prophets speak & reiterate His Word in "doubles." Clearly, God is trying to tell me something through the double death, but I'm too vastly dull to grasp it.

I can’t help but feel like it’s something I’ve not done “right”---I didn’t pray right or praise Him right or have enough faith (as if one can create or decrease amounts of faith when its all a gift of grace). I’m so ashamed that I’m stuck in suc a blasphemous works-based mentality, when I know full well that it defies everything He tells us about His GRACE.

It’s just that throughout the entire Scriptures we’re told that children are a blessing from the Lord. But what happens if He gives the hope of them (after YEARS of barrenness) only to take the reality of them back? ---and under such horrid circumstances, I might add!

All through Scripture, the barren woman’s child is restored to her---Hannah gave up Samuel and God restored her six more children. Elijah lay across the barren woman’s dead son and brought him back to life for her. Paul did the same with the boy who fell out the window in Acts. Jesus Himself, healed the woman with the issue of blood---how many children did she go on to have as a result of her healing??? The text doesn’t tell us, but it’s clear that He healed her barrenness by resolving her menstrual issues. God GIVES children as a blessing; He takes them as a punishment.

How do I come to such a conclusion? Well, when you search Scripture cover to cover, the only place where we see a child’s death is when God brought judgment upon David & Bathsheba for their unrepentant sin. What sin have I committed that I failed to repent of? Did I not repent “enough”??? What is God saying to me through this experience? Scriptural language, Scriptural examples, and Biblical principles would say that the deaths of my babies have come upon me of my own making; of my own deserving. But Why? How? It brings me back to the prayer of Elijah that Ben prayed for Abigail--he truly believed that the spirit of Elijah could lay across her body prior to its birth and that she would be born alive. God did not restore my children like He restored Isaac to Abraham; like He restored children to Hannah, or the others who were restored. Like David's child, my child(ren) remained dead. How is the sting of that to be salved? David's heart wasn't restored until God gave him Solomon. Where is my rainbow baby, God? You took her too!

I just need Him to hug me, and somehow communicate to me what purpose all this serves. I’ve done my best to move forward and continue to seek Him through my route of study in order to remain obedient and on the right path. But then the study comes along and washes me with the same struggled shame, and I just wonder if I’ve not been completely abandoned by Him. The Old Testament prophets were right when they called God's Word, "the Burden of the Word of the Lord."

What is it You want me to learn, Lord? Please don’t leave me to my humanistic guessing. Lead me to the Rock that is Higher than I. Shield me from the demons that seek to poison my mind with Scriptural misapplication & misrepresentation. Take every thought captive to your glory. You withheld children from Sarah, but once you spoke of Isaac’s promise you never entertained the idea of taking him back (at least not with her, and certainly not for REAL). Albeit, I suppose Abraham was prepared to give You the son of promise back, and perhaps I should follow his example better. It's just that even in your testing of Abraham, you still did not take the boy Home. And yet you took ALL of David’s children except Solomon, starting with the baby. It’s so perplexing. And I hurt so very much. Please help me, Lord. Please show me your favor again--like David cried out as his baby lay dying: restore to me the joy of Thy salvation and uphold me with Thy free Spirit...

me too Lord, me too...

Snips & Snails and Puppy Dog Tails

Lessons in falling backward and being broken...

Romans 3:1-2
What advantage then hath the Jew? or what profit is there of circumcision? Much every way: chiefly, because that unto them were committed the oracles of God.

Genesis 17:1-19
And when Abram was ninety years old and nine, the Lord appeared to Abram, and said unto him, I am the Almighty God; walk before me, and be thou perfect. And I will make my covenant between me and thee, and will multiply thee exceedingly...

Neither shall thy name any more be called Abram, but thy name shall be Abraham; for a father of many nations have I made thee. And I will make thee exceeding fruitful, and I will make nations of thee, and kings shall come out of thee. And I will establish my covenant between me and thee and thy seed after thee in their generations for an everlasting covenant, to be a God unto thee, and to thy seed after thee. And I will give unto thee, and to thy seed after thee, the land wherein thou art a stranger, all the land of Canaan, for an everlasting possession; and I will be their God.

And God said unto Abraham, Thou shalt keep my covenant therefore, thou, and thy seed after thee in their generations. This is my covenant, which ye shall keep, between me and you and thy seed after thee; Every man child among you shall be circumcised. And ye shall circumcise the flesh of your foreskin; and it shall be a token of the covenant betwixt me and you...And the uncircumcised man child whose flesh of his foreskin is not circumcised, that soul shall be cut off from his people; he hath broken my covenant.

And God said unto Abraham, As for Sarai thy wife, thou shalt not call her name Sarai, but Sarah shall her name be. And I will bless her, and give thee a son also of her: yea, I will bless her, and she shall be a mother of nations; kings of people shall be of her. Then Abraham fell upon his face, and laughed...And God said, Sarah thy wife shall bear thee a son indeed; and thou shalt call his name Isaac which means laughter): and I will establish my covenant with him for an everlasting covenant, and with his seed after him.

Paul says much in the New Testament about circumcision availing nothing if it is for outward appearances only. The whole point of circumcision is illustrated above. Paul tells us in the Romans 2 passage that the oracles of God were handed down through a chosen people; that circumcision has great benefit because it is part of our ancestry as Abraham and Sarah's grandchildren. But even the Old Testament oracles that Paul refers to call the rite of circumcision as "token"--a symbol of a greater relationship with God.

Of course that "token" got distorted over the generations and the "circumcision movement" in New Testament times was a direct result of Pharisiticalism, or "outward appearances" rather than as an illustration of a genuine relationship with God.

No where in the New Testament does Paul ever tell us that we should NOT participate with the rite of circumcision. He illustrates how circumcision is not a necessary function of salvation, and boldly addresses in his letter to the Galations how forcing circumcision on someone is to deny the grace and work of Jesus Christ. The circumcision party, like many churches today, believed that works are still what earns us grace. Works negate grace; plain & simple.

But Paul's agrument against the WORKS of circumcision were not against circumcision itself. To the New Testament writers, circumcision was still an outward "token" that we are of the Family Abraham. In fact, Paul starts off his chapter two discourse to the Romans by telling us that there is still great value to be had in participating with circumcision. Just like there is still great value in participating with baptism, even though baptism is not what saves us.

Of course there is no value in circumcision apart from the relationship with God that it's supposed to represent. He tells us that Timothy the Greek was NOT REQUIRED to be circumcised in order to receive full salvation. As is now and was then, salvation comes by faith and faith alone--not the outward cutting of the flesh.

But that's the same idea as the New Testament rite of baptism. We are NOT REQUIRED to baptized in order to receive salvation. Salvation is still received as a result of our faith, and our baptism is merely a "token" expression of that faith. We would never espouse to contemporary believers today that we should NOT participate with baptism. The same is true with circumcision. These are symbols-- "tokens" --of what our faith means to us.

So what about this movement today whereby women have become so adamantly against circumcising their sons??? (and I say women because by & large, it's the women convincing the men and not the other way around). I've been in conversations whereby the very idea of participating in circumcision infuriates large numbers of women into a frenzy. Clearly, the ancestry of Abraham and Sarah means nothing to these people. The importance of what circumcision represents is completely unimportant to this new generation of unbelievers.

So what does circumcision mean in this New Testament era anyway? Can we believers just throw it away as some anciently ridiculous reason to abuse our baby boys? I would hope the New Testament Church is smarter and more spiritually astute than to believe that. Like Paul said, "what profit is there?" MUCH in every way.

See the outward cutting of the flesh is to symbolize the deep intimacy of the cutting of the heart. A true believer will be both faithful on the inside as well as on the outside; we will be a doer AND a hearer of the Word. Of course, the motive of our outward expressions of faith will be pleasing to God when He takes stock of our "good works." We are to participate in the oracles of Abraham because of what it means to us to be counted as one of his seed; to be counted as part of the Eternal Covenant betwixt he and Thee.

Ultimately, God expects us to be deeply cut as we pursue our relationship with Him. He wants our heart of stone to be replaced with a heart of flesh. That flesh of the heart must be "circumcised" as a means of proving that faith. God wants us as New Testament believers to acknowledge our special calling and our special privileges. He wants us to be more than "good" people; He wants us to be circumcised people.

I find it no small coincidence that the covenant of circumcision came at a time when both Abram and Sarai received new names. The token of circumcision was given down to Abraham at the same time that He spoke the lineage of Israel into being. No more would it just be a family inheritance issue with Ishmael receiving the family booty. But now the bloodline is shifted to SARAH's seed---SHE is given title of Queen; SHE becomes the mother of the Nation--the chosen Israel.

To cast off circumcision as a medically unnecessary act of barbarism is to commit the greatest act of anti-Semitism there is. Such blasphemy denies the ancient covenant of Judeo-Christianity and the purpose of God's relationship with His people. The Messiah Jesus was circumcised---presented in the Temple for His bris at the beginning of Luke's gospel. As believers in the Messianic covenant, we do not HAVE to participatete in circumcision, but we are not true believers with a deeper understanding of the oracles of God if we don't.