Isaiah Twenty Eight

...But the word of the LORD was unto them precept upon precept, precept upon precept; line upon line, line upon line; here a little, and there a little; that they might go, and fall backward, and be broken, and snared, and taken...

About Me

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Location: High Desert SW

I'm Vickie, 51, married since 1985. We have a grown son, born in 1986, and aside from two early miscarriages, were barren thereafter. That is until 2003, when we were miraculously expecting a baby girl. The pregnancy was wonderful & we were very excited to be so blessed. Sadly & preventably, Abigail died in utero the week of her due date thanks to a practice of outlandishly horrid medical providers masquerading as knowledgeable professionals. Consequently, I delivered her lifeless body on December 6, 2003 after 3 days of sorrowed labor. She may have been born still, but she was still born & is still loved. Long story short, we were blessed 16 months later with a 3rd miracle child. Anne came into the world on April 28, 2005 after yet another wonderful pregnancy. Sadly, it was discovered after her birth that she had a heart defect caused by trisomy 18. She died suddenly of congestive heart failure, just before midnight on June 28, 2005. Anne was 61derful days old when she left her mama's arms & went to rest in the Lord's. She was a wonderful sparkly child, who along with her siblings, are the subject of most of my writings, interests & hobbies.

Friday, June 01, 2007

Lessons in Falling Backward and Being Broken - I Kings 17 & 19 ---------------- Starved for Birdfood



I'm so slow at getting things done. My writing falls behind, my artwork falls behind... I feel rusty and ragged. I'm trapped under the suffocating weight of a beautiful Persian carpet--I know it's beautiful on the other side, but I feel like I'm trapped under the rubble of my life just struggling to survive.

I struggle with God over the vast injustice in the world; I struggle with ill-heath & feeling like crap all the time; I struggle in marriage. I struggle with those who claimed to be my friend, and yet in reality they dropped me down a deep pit and left me for dead. I struggle with those who think of abortion as a viable answer. I struggle in a deep place of loneliness. I struggle with grasping this "light yoke" concept that Jesus promises to us--the reward for they who are weary and take up His yoke...

Lord, am I doing something wrong? Of course not my child; you are merely hurting under the duress of Adam's Curse. Of course, how is one supposed to feel or behave in the face of such a rubbled life? I think of Rachel who begged Jacob for a baby lest she die--and in the end she did... And then I think of Nehemiah who sat down and sobbed as he assessed the devastation of his beloved City--God's Temple defiled & desecrated seemingly beyond repair... Nehemiah illustrates his character like Superman in how he picked himself up, took on His Yoke, and proclaimed that the Joy of the Lord was his strength... they repaired, rebuilt, restored, and rededicated...

I guess I'm just in the midst of my wilderness experience right now. I think on Elijah who was so depressed over the state of things that he wished he were dead. I think of how he was fed by angels and ravens through the exhaustion of his wilderness experience. Elijah was a powerful man of God, but he was not without duress. He was not spared a profound wilderness experience in which to grow his faith. He illustrates that no child of God can avoid the wilderness. Ya know Lord, I could sure use some of that angel's food though...

http://vickienadine.blogspot.com/

posted by 2QTsInHeaven | 1:56 AM

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